No Wrong Way to Feel:

Grief is not just one emotion—it is a complex, deeply personal experience that can bring a wide range of feelings, often shifting from one moment to the next. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a role, or even a future you had imagined, your emotional response may be unpredictable, confusing, or overwhelming at times.

Understanding the different feelings that can arise during grief can help normalize your experience and remind you that you’re not alone.

Sadness

Sadness is perhaps the most expected emotion in grief. It can come in waves—sometimes soft and quiet, other times intense and crushing. This sadness reflects the depth of your love and the significance of what was lost.

Anger

Grief can bring up anger—toward circumstances, other people, or even the person who has passed. You might feel anger at the unfairness of it all, or at how things unfolded. This is a natural and valid part of the grieving process.

Guilt/Shame

You may find yourself replaying events in your mind, wondering if you could have done something differently. Guilt often comes with "what ifs" and "if onlys," even when we know rationally that we did our best.

Shock/Numbness/Disbelief

Sometimes the pain of loss is so great that we temporarily feel nothing at all. This emotional numbness is a common coping mechanism—it gives the heart and mind space to catch up to the reality of the loss.

Disorganization/Confusion/Searching

Racing thoughts, disconnection from your life, or losing track of time can be overwhelming, scary and confusing. Things that used to come naturally may feel like a chore, such as bathing, cleaning, or getting out of bed. You may find yourself searching for the person you lost, or yearning for things to be what they were. Sometimes, people are convinced they saw their loved one in a crowd, or feel that life has spiraled out of control. Be patient with yourself as you experience these feelings, and reach out if you need support caring for yourself or others. 

Relief

In some cases, especially after a long illness or a difficult relationship, people may feel relief. This can be confusing or even shame-inducing, but it's important to recognize that this, too, is a valid emotional response.

Anxiety/Fear

Loss can shake our sense of safety and stability. You might find yourself feeling anxious about the future, fearful of more loss, or uncertain about your own identity in the wake of the change. 

Longing/Yearning

A deep desire to see, touch, or talk to the person who is gone—or to return to the way things were—is a tender and painful part of grief. This longing can come up unexpectedly, triggered by memories, milestones, or even everyday moments.

Isolation/Loneliness

You may find yourself feeling isolated or completely alone in your loss–that no one understands you or what you have been through. Sometimes, you see other people returning to their lives, only to still be left behind.

Grief Has No Rules

You may experience all of these feelings, only a few, or others not listed here. Emotions may come and go, overlap, or show up in ways that surprise you. There’s no “normal” way to grieve, only your way—and every feeling that shows up is trying to tell a part of your story.

Grief is not something to fix or rush. It’s something to move through, with compassion, patience, and support. By naming and honoring the emotions that arise, you give yourself space to heal, one feeling at a time. Sometimes, these feelings don’t dissipate over time, or you may feel completely overwhelmed by the magnitude of what you are experiencing. Reaching out to friends, family, and a counselor who understands grief can help with the healing process. Social connection can be an important part of healing.

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